


Looking Back

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Future, Season/Series 05, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-02
Updated: 2006-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-27 06:40:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12075582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: â€œNow go to New York, dazzle the art world and never look backâ€¦â€�    Those were the last words Brian said to Justin as he closed the car door and started to walk away.  Of course, when has Justin EVER done things exactly the way Brian wanted?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

This story is dedicated to mysweetprince_.  

I would also like to thank scoobysnacks and j_folked for being my betas for this story.

* * *

They had just finished making love that last time in the loft and were laying there holding each other. They were both trying to wipe away tears when the other wasn’t looking. They knew that Justin’s mom would be there soon to take him to the airport, but they just weren’t ready to let go of each other. They continued to exchange small kisses while running their hands up and down each other’s faces and arms; wanting to somehow burn the memory of one another into their brain. Finally Brian knew that he had to get up and throw some pants on or he was going to lose it. He could already hear himself whispering in Justin’s ear… “Stay with me… please… I promise you won’t regret it…” He knew that he couldn’t let that happen – no matter how hard he wanted it. He loved Justin but he knew this was the best chance Justin had to become a successful artist. The review of Justin’s work by the New York critic was still fresh. This was his chance. If he waited even 6 months the excitement over his work would have died down and he may have missed this window of opportunity.

Justin followed Brian’s lead and got up and got dressed. All of his bags were by the door and they were sitting on the couch waiting in silence. He was lying across the couch with his head in Brian’s lap. Brian was running his hands through Justin’s hair. They were both staring off into space. Neither of them wanted Justin to leave, but both were sure that if he didn’t – he would regret it forever and would end up resenting Brian for it. What seemed like forever was actually only about 15 minutes before they heard Jennifer’s car pull up out front. They got up without a word and started carrying his bags downstairs. Once everything was packed into the trunk of the car, Brian closed it and turned around. In one smooth motion he grabbed Justin up in a big hug and then turned around and lifted him so that Justin was sitting on the trunk of his mother’s car. He held onto Justin so tight he thought he might leave bruises. He finally let the hug break, but only so that he could cup Justin's face and pull his lips to his own one last time. He wanted this moment to last forever. He didn’t know when he would get to see Justin again – if ever and he didn’t want it to end. He had refused to allow himself to have feelings like this for anyone his whole life, but he finally conceded and now that he knew what they were like – he was terrified that he would never feel them again. He knew it was time to break the kiss when he could feel Justin’s tears welling up in the crease of his hand. He didn’t want to make this any harder on Justin and he knew that meant getting him out of here as quickly as possible.

Brian held onto Justin tightly as he helped him back to the ground and then led him around to the passenger side of the car and opened the car door for him. Justin smiled at him sweetly and reached for the seatbelt. Brian squatted down next to Justin and held his face for a moment – keeping their eyes locked on one another. “I love you, Justin.” Brian whispered, “Remember that.” Justin placed his hand on top of Brian’s and smiled a smile that shook Brian to his very core. “I love you too, Brian.” With that, Justin looked away. Brian was actually relieved when he did this because he could feel the tears starting. He stood up and said “Now go to New York, dazzle the art world and never look back…” Then he softly shut the car door. 

When he turned around to go back into the loft, Jennifer was standing there. She pulled him into a tight hug. “Thank you so much Brian… I know how difficult it is for you to let him go like this…” Brian wiped a few tears away before he looked at her and shrugged, “Well, you know what they say… if you love someone – you have to let them go.” He replied as his voice trailed off along with his gaze. “Yea…” Jennifer whispered back. It never ceased to amaze her how little she knew about Justin and Brian’s relationship. The entire first year they were together she figured that Brian looked at Justin as just a sweet young thing that helped him “stay young”. After the bashing, when Brian would sit outside Justin’s hospital room every night, she had to admit that there must be something more to it than just sex. For the next couple years she really had no idea what to think of their relationship. It was definitely an “on again / off again” relationship if nothing else. One day Justin would be so happy and the next day every sentence would start with “fucking Brian…” Now it was very evident when you looked at either one of them that they not only loved each other – they were in love with each other. That fact, she knew, made Justin’s decision to leave and Brian’s decision to let him go without a fight so much more difficult. 

Brian cleared his throat so he could tell Jennifer goodbye without his voice cracking. “I guess I’ll see you around sometime,” he said to her as he started to move out of her way so she could get going. Jennifer stopped him long enough to hug him for a second. “I would really like it if you would join Molly and me for dinner sometime… We will always consider you family.” She said, making sure to make eye contact with him for that last sentence. Brian looked away quickly and chuckled weakly, “Just what I need, another mother looking after me; like Joan and Debbie aren’t enough.” His eyes inadvertently locked with hers again and he knew she was seeing right through his mask. He closed his mouth and looked at his feet for a second and then nodded his head, “Ok – call the office sometime and we will get together for lunch or something,” he conceded before kissing her on the cheek and heading back into the loft. He figured it would be easy enough to dodge invitations and the awkward moments that would surely arise from them with Cynthia’s help. He needed to remember to mention that to her Monday.

As he walked back into the loft he kicked off his shoes and by the time he got to the bed the pants he had thrown on earlier were laying on the floor. He lay back down on the bed and curled around the pillow where his lover had been laying less than an hour ago. Brian could still smell Justin all over the sheets and especially on the pillow. It was a mixture of his cologne and sweat. Brian buried his face in the smell and fell asleep with a sad smile on his face and a tear trailing over his cheek.

************************************************************************************

Justin had left on Friday. No one saw Brian at all on Saturday. A bit odd, but with Babylon gone it was not very surprising – he hated most of the other clubs. When he was nowhere to be found on Sunday night the guys all huddled around a table at Woody’s and started to look at each with a bit of concern. “I’m sure he will be at work in the morning,” Ted spoke up, “maybe he’s just taken these last few days to detox a bit. He has had as much to deal with these past few weeks as the rest of us and now, with Justin leaving, he has even more. It can’t be easy on him – despite what he would like us to believe.”

“I still can't believe the little shit had the audacity to walk away! He is just never happy. All these years he has wanted Brian to admit he loved him and then when he does, Justin moves hundreds of miles away!” Michael jumped up on his anti-Justin soapbox again. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. 

“I’m actually surprised that you are upset by it, Michael,” Emmett confessed. “You always used to complain about him hanging around and ruining our fun… now that he’s gone you are complaining about that too… sounds like maybe you are the one that is never happy…” Emmett finished that with his eyebrows raised and started sipping his Cosmo. Michael opened his mouth to defend himself, but wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Emmett was being ridiculous, all Michael ever wanted was for Justin to appreciate Brian for the person he was and not try to change him! But even as Michael was about to begin this tirade, he knew there were holes in his thinking. He knew that there was merit in what Emmett said. While he had gotten over his initial irritation with Brian’s “boy toy” a couple years ago – there were still times that those feelings rose to the surface again. Usually it was whenever Justin did something to hurt Brian’s feelings. 

“Michael?” …  
Brian was his best friend after all!   
“Michael!”…  
What kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t defend him???  
“MICHAEL!”

Michael was jerked out of his own mental tirade and looked around at Ben, Ted and Emmett. One of them had apparently asked him a question and they were all waiting on his response. The problem was he had no idea who had asked what… “I’m sorry guys, I missed what you were talking about” he confessed. Ted spoke up then, “I asked if you would be willing to run by Brian’s loft in the morning if, for some reason, he doesn’t show up at Kinnetik.” 

“I am sure he will be there and be as charming as ever,” Michael began, “but if he isn’t, just call me at the comic book store and I will definitely run by and check on him.” They all had one last drink and then started home for the evening. 

On their way home, Michael and Ben drove by Brian's loft. All the lights were out. “See,” Michael began, “he is probably out partying somewhere else – or at some trick’s place getting his dick sucked… You know Brian; he is not going to let this get him down. Hell – he is probably more upset about Babylon than he is about Justin leaving…” Ben patted Michael on the leg while he continued to drive to their house. “I am sure you are right dear… now quit trying to convince me and start working on convincing yourself!” Michael gave Ben a grumpy, pouting look and Ben chuckled to himself and then squeezed Michael’s thigh …

**********************************************************************************

The next morning Ted showed up at Kinnetik at his usual time. By that time, Brian should have already been there for at least an hour or so. So when Ted stopped off at his favorite coffee shop on the way to work that morning, he had bought an extra one for Brian. He stopped at his desk and dropped off his briefcase and his jacket before walking to Brian’s office. He was about to knock on the door when Cynthia came around the corner. “He’s not here yet, Ted…” she called out. “He’s not called either… I’m actually starting to worry. I tried calling his home phone and the cell but he is not answering either line. He hasn’t missed work like this since he finished his radiation therapy.” She said as her voice drifted off. Ted suddenly became concerned as well and he decided not to wait any longer.

“Don’t worry Cynthia – I will get a hold of Michael and send him over to Brian’s loft to check on things.” He told her as he started to walk away from Brian’s door. He stopped next to her long enough to offer her the extra coffee he had bought. She thanked him and he continued back to his office. He stepped inside and shut the door before sitting down and dialing Michael’s number. 

“Michael’s Comics, home of Rage the Gay Crusader – this is Michael – how can I help you?”  
“Michael, this is Ted…” Ted began, unsure of how to proceed with this conversation without sending Michael into a panic.

“Hey Teddy! How’s your day going?” Michael asked. He noticed that Teddy sounded a little funny, but that happened more often than not, so it really didn’t cause any red flags for Michael.

“Well, it is off to a strange start now that you mention it,” Ted began. He took another breath and then continued, “Brian is not here Michael. Cynthia said he hasn’t called in or anything.”

Michael looked at his watch. “It’s only 8 o’clock, Teddy. I’m sure he’ll be in soon.” 

Ted pulled the phone away from his ear and looked into the receiver, unable to believe his ears. It was almost as if Michael had completely forgotten about the conversation the gang had had the night before. “Michael, Brian is usually here before everyone else... He has always called Cynthia beforehand if he was planning to be late. Do you even remember what we were all talking about last night?” The phone line was quiet for what seemed like forever and then Michael spoke up again, “Oh my God, Teddy, I had completely forgotten. I don’t know what I was thinking… I’ll lock up right now and go check on him.” Michael said, “I’ll call you once I know what is going on Teddy…” With that, Michael hung up the phone and grabbed his keys from behind the counter. He flipped the sign to closed and stepped out and locked the doors. He grabbed the next taxi he saw and headed over to Brian’s loft unsure of what he was going to find.

************************************************************************************ 

Michael was handing the driver the fare for the taxi ride before the car had completely stopped and had jumped out and shut the door before the driver could even say “thank you”. He didn’t bother hitting the buzzer and waiting to see if Brian would answer. He just pulled out his “emergency key” and let himself into the building. He took the steps two at a time until he reached the last flight of steps. He stopped then to catch his breath and then walked the rest of the way to the top. He knocked on the door and listened to see if he could hear Brian moving around inside. He heard nothing, but wasn’t convinced that Brian was not home yet. He knocked a couple more times. Still he heard nothing. He thought back to the night around Brian’s thirtieth birthday when he had walked in and stopped Brian from potentially killing himself while “scarfing”. That was all the incentive he needed. He unlocked the door and walked in. At first, he thought everything was fine. There was a line of shoes and clothes from the door of the loft up to the bedroom, which usually meant that Brian was just busy getting his dick sucked. However, even Brian would not skip work for a piece of ass – not without calling anyway. Michael started walking into the loft and called out Brian’s name a couple times without getting a response. 

He glanced up at the bedroom and saw Brian’s foot hanging off the edge of the bed. “Brian?” Michael called out. Brian mumbled his reply, “What do you want Michael?” Michael continued walking into the loft slowly – looking around. There were dishes in the sink and a couple of things just lying wherever they had fallen. While the place was not actually “messy”, it was not like Brian to let anything just lay around. “I’m here checking on you. You didn’t show up for work this morning…”

“Yes,” Brian replied, “I’m aware of that. What is your point?”

“My point?” Michael said in his whiney exasperated voice. “My point is that you never do that… If you are not going in you at least call. No one saw you at all this weekend and then there is no sign of you at work this morning. People are worried about you.” “Well, you can tell everyone that I am fine. I just did not feel like dealing with work today – that is all. Even the boss is allowed to take a day away – damn.” Brian spat out in reply to Michael’s little tirade. He was lying sideways across the bed again – his head on Justin’s pillow. 

By this time, Michael had walked up the steps between the living room and the bedroom. His concern stepped up as he looked at Brian. He looked like he had not slept well in days. He definitely had not showered or shaved this morning. “Oh my God Brian, what is wrong? You look like shit!” he exclaimed as he sat down next to Brian on the bed. “I knew it was going to hit you hard when the little fucker left the way he did, but I never expected you to just give up like this…” As soon as he said it, Michael knew it was a mistake. The look that Brian had in his eyes could have melted a steel pylon.

“What the FUCK are you talking about Michael? I haven’t given up a God damned thing! Of course I look like shit right now – I’ve been throwing up for the last two days – how would you expect me to look?” Brian jumped down Michael’s throat. “By the way, ‘the little fucker’ as you referred to him, has a name and Justin has nothing to do with this.” Brian added – not sure, if he was adding it for Michael’s benefit or his own. While it was true that he had gotten sick a couple of times over the last couple of days, the main reason he had gotten sick was that he had barely eaten anything at all since Justin left. He didn’t really understand it. It had been as much his idea for Justin to go to New York as it had been Justin’s. He knew if he had said a word, Justin would have jumped out of that car and come right back upstairs that night. He knew that going to New York was the best thing for Justin; that Justin was much more likely to become a success in New York. The opportunities here would be extremely limited, and he loved Justin too much to allow anyone to limit him like that. 

“Well,” Michael stammered, “as long as you are ok I will go ahead and go back to work. I will call Teddy and let him know you are ok once I get back to work; that way you can get back to resting. Let me know if you need anything ok?” Brian waved his hand at Michael to shoo him off and mumbled, “Yea, yea, yea, Mikey – just close the door on the way out please.” 

“I’ll come by and check on you this afternoon.” Michael said as he was leaving. He did not wait around for a response.

“Yeehaw…” Brian said sarcastically. He lay there a little while longer and then finally gave in, got up and headed to the bathroom. He took a long hot shower, and as he rinsed his hair his mind started to run a slideshow of all the times he and Justin had fucked in that shower… Brian knew he needed to snap out of this “funk”. The problem was that being in a “funk” was a new experience for him. He could only think of two ways to get back to his old self. The first option was completely out of the question – Brian Kinney didn’t chase after anyone – not even the young blond who had turned his life upside down. No, it was way too soon to think about moving Kinnetik to New York. That only left one other option – he had to rebuild Babylon…

*********************************************************************************** 

Justin stirred a bit as he began to wake up. He opened an eye just a crack to look around the room. One the wall across from his bed was a painted sign that read: “Good morning Justin! Welcome to a brand new day in New York!” He knew it seemed rather strange to anyone else looking at it, but it had become a necessary evil to him. He had noticed early on that everything he had painted since he had gotten to New York was “off” somehow. There was no passion, no adventure – nothing like the work he had completed when living back home. One morning, about 6 weeks after he had made the move to New York, he sat down in his second hand Lazy Boy recliner with a big mug of coffee and tried to figure out what was causing the problem. It wasn’t that he missing Brian. He was missing him of course, but that was not what was coming across in the paintings… This was something else – something Justin himself could not seem to put his finger on…

It was a bitter cold morning and he decided that he wasn’t going to be able to think clearly with the sound of his teeth chattering so loudly. He grabbed his coffee mug and walked over to the heater. He kicked it a couple times and then muttered “get to work dammit, I’m fucking freezing here!” With that, he climbed back into his bed and bundled the blankets up to his neck. As he dozed back off he continued to try and figure out what was going on in his subconscious. An hour or so later he awoke with a start. He sat straight up in the bed and tried to gain his bearings. Where was he? This wasn’t Brain’s loft… “Our loft” he corrected himself immediately with a small smile. That was when everything hit home. 

Those first 6 weeks – every morning when he woke up, the first thought in his head was “Where am I? This isn’t the loft…” In the next 20 to 30 seconds he would relive everything that happened in the weeks before he moved here…

The bombing…  
Brian’s long awaited moment of self discovery… “I love you…”   
His immediate 180 degree turn on certain opinions… “How about marrying me?” …  
The trip to West Virginia so Brian could show him the mansion he had bought for them…  
“You bought this? You bought this palace???”  
“It’s for my prince”  
The realization that neither of them was being completely honest with the other…   
“I don’t want to live with someone who sacrificed their life and called it love just to be with me…”   
“Neither do I …”

And that last night before he left. It was one of the few times that Justin could say that they truly   
made love to each other… It was more than just fucking. Although, truth be told, it had   
been more than just fucking ever since they had gotten back together after the “Ethan   
incident”, but Brian would never have admitted to that back then.

All of this would come crashing back on him every morning before he was even awake enough for it to register. It would weigh on the back of his mind all day without him even knowing it was there – ever present – riddling him with guilt and self doubt; and as he now looked at all of the paintings he had done in that time frame, he could see so much more. It was not just the guilt and self doubt that was present… there was an ominous tone to these paintings. There was a feeling of dread in each brush stroke. 

The only question that remained was WHAT was Justin dreading? Was it dread about starting over in a new place or his uncertain future? Or was he feeling such dread because he knew he had possibly made the biggest mistake of his life when he walked away that night? 

***********************************************************************************

He was already halfway through a bottle of Jim Beam. It had taken that much for Brian to muster up the courage to pick up the phone. He kept reminding himself that they really had not broken up. They still loved each other and wanted to be together, the timing was just not right at this point…

Justin was almost finished cleaning up his studio apartment when the phone rang. He ran to the phone and picked it up. “Daphne? Where are you?” His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he heard the reply...

“Well, I don’t know where Daphne is, but I’m sitting here on my leather couch naked with the biggest hard-on I’ve had in ages…” Brian said in the sexiest voice he could find.

“Brian?” Justin asked. Even though they had talked several times a week when he first moved up to New York, the calls had become fewer and fewer and it had now been months since either of them had called the other. Justin had heard that Brian had rebuilt the club. He assumed life had gone back to “normal” (or what Brian considered normal) and that was why he never heard from him anymore. Truth be told, the idea of that hurt so much, Justin had stopped calling for fear of catching Brian at a “bad time”.   
“Dare I ask who else might be calling you with such details?” Brian asked. He had never really been the jealous type before, but time and Jim Beam seemed to be changing that. In any event, the comment came across as snotty. It wasn’t the way it was intended of course, but, judging from Justin’s reply, that was definitely the way it had been received and Justin certainly did not appreciate it. 

“For the record,” Justin stated, “there are quite a few men that could be calling me with those details. There are plenty of men out there that want me!” He didn’t mean for his words to be so bitchy, but the months of silence and his assumptions about the reasons behind them had pushed to the forefront of his mind. Those facts plus the fact that this was the first time Brian had called him in months and he was already drunk and only had one thing on his mind was just too much for Justin to ignore.

Brian could feel the anger welling up inside him. The sensitive part of his brain told him to get control before he spoke. After all, he knew Justin had probably taken his comment the wrong way. It was the other side of his brain, however, that had control of his mouth now. “Oh, I am sure there are plenty of guys that want you up there, Justin… I wouldn’t be surprised if you had them lined up outside your door. How else will you survive until you start selling your paintings…?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he felt like a COMPLETE ass. He knew he needed to be slapped and hard! He knew Justin had not hung up yet – he could still hear him. He also knew he had really fucked up with that comment, he could hear it in the way Justin was breathing. He pulled himself into a sitting position immediately. He knew he had to try and fix this fast. “Justin? God, Justin, I didn’t mean that! You have to know I didn’t mean that! I don’t even know where the thought came from I swear!” He knew he was about one step away from groveling right now; but in this instance, he felt it was justified.

Justin was standing there stunned. He felt like he had been kicked in the stomach and could feel a couple tears falling down his face. One of the main reasons he was in New York was because he didn’t want to just live off of Brian! He was so hurt and infuriated at that moment; it felt like the room was spinning. Distantly, he could hear Brian talking again.

“Justin? Did you hear me? I swear I didn’t mean that! Talk to me dammit!”

Justin took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and replied, “Actually, Brian, I don’t think you would want me to say much right now… I think we will both be better off if I just hang up now before we both start saying things that we will regret…” With that, Justin slowly put the phone back on the cradle, leaving his hand on the receiver for an extra moment – almost as if he was using it to ground himself and get rid of the negative energy.

Brian heard the phone disconnect and swallowed hard. Justin’s words were still hanging in the air… ” I think we will both be better off if I just hang up now before we both start saying things that we will regret…” Brian sighed as he hung up the phone. He pulled his knees to his chest, rested his chin on them and said out loud “Too late…” 

************************************************************************************


	2. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes:

Thank you to my betas:  scoobysnacks & j_folked

I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well!

* * *

            

     Justin walked over to the painting he had finished earlier that morning and looked at it.  He had been in such a good mood then – Daphne was coming for a week’s visit and bringing her boyfriend with her for Justin to meet…  He had completed several new paintings over the last month and was getting good reviews from gallery owners.  No shows confirmed yet, but there was definitely interest blooming.  None of that seemed to matter now.  Fighting with Brian always had this effect on him.  Even now – when Justin had already pretty much written him off – it was no different.  Justin looked around at the cans of paint and found the one he wanted.  He then turned and grabbed a big brush and dipped it into the paint can.  Not bothering to scrap the excess paint off of the brush, he lifted the brush to the canvas and made two big strokes across it.  He threw the paint brush back into the paint can, looked once more at the painting and then laid down on his couch and stared off into space.  He told himself he wasn’t actually crying.  He wasn’t sobbing or making any kind of “Boo Hoo” noises.  He could just feel the tears falling and pooling next to his face.  He thought to himself, “Silent tears speak louder than words”…  Although he never titled his paintings before they were complete, he knew he would be naming one of them “Silent Tears”.  In a thought that took all of a nano-second, he saw a subtitle: “Dedicated to Brian Kinney”.  He rolled his eyes at his own morbid humor and then drifted off into a fitful sleep. 

 

**********************************************************************************  

 

            Justin opened his eyes and he was in the backroom of Babylon.  He had some guy he didn’t recognize bent over and was “going through the motions”.  It was ok.  It was sex and he would get off, of course; but his heart wasn’t in it.  He looked around to see if he recognized anyone else in the room – he didn’t.  When he looked back down at the guy he was fucking, he had to take a second look…  It was a different guy!  He looked around again to try and figure out what was going on and when he looked back at his trick again, again it was a different guy.

 

            It deteriorated quickly at this point.  When he looked up again Brian was standing next to him with an arrogant look on his face.  Wanting to look at anyone or anything other than Brian, Justin looked down again and again the trick had changed to another anonymous “face”.  

 

            “Quite a little assembly line you have going here, Sunshine…  I wonder… Where you are putting your tips?” Brian said with his best tongue-in-cheek smirk…  

 

“Justin?  Can you hear me?”   Brian’s voice was starting to sound funny.  

 

“Justin?”  Justin decided ignoring him completely was probably the best idea and so he turned his head away.  

 

“JUSTIN?”  He heard his name louder that time and then he heard someone pounding on the wall… the wall?  No, it was the door.  Someone was pounding on his front door!  Justin startled himself awake and ran to answer the door before they could pound on it again…

 

“Oh Daphne, it’s you…” Justin said as he opened the door.

 

“Gee, thanks…  I usually get a hug and you at least ACT happy to see me,” she said.  She had said it as a joke, but she could tell that something was wrong.

 

“I’m sorry.  I _am_ happy to see you, of course.  I was just in the middle of a really fucked up dream when you knocked.”  Justin explained.  He gave her a big hug and waited to be introduced to the guy standing behind his best friend.

 

“Yea, you look like you’ve been sleeping,” Daphne said.  “And crying” she thought to herself.  She knew better than to start off her visit by saying that, so she kept that last part to herself and just made a mental note to try and figure out what was going on in a less direct way.  She knew Justin would tell her when he was ready; and she knew that if she tried to push it, all that would happen is that he would get upset with her and be less likely to come to her at times when he really needed her shoulder.  Daphne snapped out of her train of thought and realized that Justin was just standing there waiting for something.  Then she realized he was looking at someone or something behind her….

 

“Damn – I completely forgot my manners!” she exclaimed.  “Justin - this is Keith, my boyfriend.  Keith – this is Justin, my best friend.”  The two men smiled at each other politely and shook hands.

 

“I’ve heard a lot about you Justin,” Keith began.  “It is nice to actually meet the man behind the stories at last.” 

 

“Well, don’t believe everything she tells you Keith.  Daphne likes to blame me for as much as she possibly can to try to maintain her illusion of innocence,” Justin replied with a small smirk.

 

Keith laughed at that and Daphne took a playful swing at her best friend.  The mood was lightening already and she was thankful for that.  She really liked Keith and was hopeful that he and Justin would get along.

 

Daphne and Keith wanted to take Justin out for lunch.  At first he hesitated; Brian’s words still fresh in his mind.  Although Daphne knew nothing about the phone call earlier, she knew money was probably tight for Justin right now.  Because of that, she spoke up before he could say no.  “Before you try to think up excuses, let me remind you that we are going to be staying here for the next week.  Now, to my knowledge, you were not planning on charging us for room and board.  The least you can do is let us treat you to lunch!” she finished with one of her smiles that let Justin know that he was not going to win this argument.  He looked over at Keith and said, “You know, I think she is actually getting better at this”.

 

Keith chuckled and then replied, “I grew up with a house full of women, dude.  I learned early that it is almost always better to let them have their way”.  Daphne looked at him with her eyebrows raised in a jokingly questionable look.  He just smiled at her and winked.

 

They all laughed at this and Justin finally agreed to lunch.  He ran to take a quick shower while Daphne and Keith looked at some of his newest paintings.  While in the shower, Justin was able to push the argument with Brian out of his mind.  He wasn’t going to let that spoil his visit with Daphne and Keith.  When he stepped out of the shower he was almost back to the good mood he had been in when he had started the day.  He was walking back into the area where all his new paintings were when he heard Keith make a comment about his work.

 

“Wow, he is really talented!” Keith said to Daphne.

 

“Yea, that’s what all the guys say…” Justin replied as he snuck up behind the pair.

 

“Justin!” Daphne laughed and swatted at him.  Keith blushed slightly.

 

“I’m sorry if that embarrassed you Keith.  I am just used to acting crazy around Daphne.” Justin said when he saw the color come into Keith’s cheeks.  He didn’t want to make the guy uncomfortable and was hoping he had not already done so.

 

Keith laughed, “No worries, man.  You just startled me.  I didn’t realize you were there.” He said with a smile.  With that, the trio set out for lunch and some sightseeing.

 

************************************************************************************ 

 

            Lunch and sightseeing turned into lunch, sightseeing and dinner.  They were walking back towards Justin’s apartment when Daphne saw a sign for The Inner Sanctum.  She looked at Justin and asked him what it was.

 

            “It’s New York’s answer to Babylon,” Justin replied as he kept walking.  If it had been just the two of them he was sure she would have drug him through the door – kicking and screaming if necessary.  Thankfully Keith was with them so he was pretty sure he would not have to deal with that on this trip.  He was wrong.

 

            “Justin, hold up a minute,”   Daphne was grabbing his arm.  “Let’s go in for a while.  You and I haven’t been to a club together in ages!” she said.  Justin looked at her as if she was an alien.  He looked over at Keith and then back at Daphne.

 

            “Daphne, my dear…” Justin started as he glanced over at Keith again – trying to get his point across without having to say anything else.

 

            “What my love?” she replied batting her eyelashes at him…  (She could be such a dork sometimes…)

 

            Justin sighed and looked at her again.  “The Inner Sanctum is **_exactly_** like Babylon…”

 

            “I think you established that a minute ago,” she replied; still not understanding what Justin was trying to say.

 

            Justin was starting to feel like he was talking to Gus.  “Do you and Keith frequent the gay bars on Liberty Avenue?” Justin asked.

 

            “Well, of course not!” Daphne replied.  Before Justin could come back with anything else, she added, “but I am sure we would stop in now and then if you were still living there!”  She gave him that triumphant smile again and Justin could have sworn he heard someone on a loud speaker somewhere nearby:  “Daphne - one… Justin - zero”.

 

            “We don’t have to stay long.  Besides – you need to get out once in a while.”  Justin knew he wasn’t going to win this war, but he hoped to at least win this battle. 

 

            “I tell you what… let’s come back another night.  None of us are really dressed to be out clubbing right now anyway…” he said.  Daphne hated to admit it, but he did have a point about that.  They were all wearing sweatpants and T-shirts.  She relented for the moment but only after Justin promised to bring them back before she and Keith had to go back home.

 

*********************************************************************************** 

 

            It was another Saturday night at Babylon.  It was the number one hot spot again, so the alley was packed with people standing in line to get into the building.  Ted & Blake had stopped and picked up Emmett on the way and the three of them were now walking up to the door.  Everyone was giving them dirty looks as they walked past and eventually went inside without having to wait.  As they were disappearing into the building Emmett popped his head back out.  He smiled and waved to the people that had been giving them the dirty looks.

 

            “Em, would you behave yourself!” Ted called out as he yanked Emmett inside.  Blake was laughing at the two of them.  He was grateful that he wasn’t the jealous type.  Watching Ted and Emmett interact was always entertaining and he would definitely hate not being able to enjoy it.  He was glad the two had been able to rediscover their friendship.  Seeing them joke around like they used to always gave him a warm feeling.  Emmett was as much a part of Ted as Ted was a part of Emmett.  Blake just couldn’t imagine one being complete without the other by his side.

 

            “Teddy, dahling,” Emmett said, “we are at Babylon – this is where we come when we DON’T want to behave!”  Emmett wiggled his eyebrows, kissed Ted and Blake both on their cheeks and headed to the dance floor.  Ted just shook his head, which made Blake start laughing again as the two of them headed for the bar.

 

            They were about 10 feet away when Ted saw Brian.  He knew it was a bad sign that there was an unused shot glass sitting there and Brian was drinking straight from a bottle.  “Christ!” Brian exclaimed in a disgusted tone of voice, “The last thing I want to deal with right now is people who think they are in love.”  He grabbed the bottle and headed up to his office without another word.

 

            Ted looked over at the bartender and called him over.  He motioned toward Brian and said, “Dare I ask what that was about?”  The bartender shrugged.  “The only coherent comments he has made all evening were ‘fucking twink’, ‘never should have called him in the first place’ and something to the extent of ‘never taking him back again – even if he comes crawling’ …”  

 

            Blake looked completely lost.  Ted leaned over and whispered one word in Blake’s ear – “Justin”.  Blake nodded to show he understood – at least to some extent.  He had missed most of the Brian/Justin saga, but was learning fast.  Ted made a mental note to stay clear of Brian for the next few days.

 

            Ted, Blake and Emmett were all standing near the bar later on when Brian came out of his office, an empty fifth of Jim Beam in his hand.  He stopped at the bar long enough to hand the empty bottle to the bartender and walked into the crowd.  Emmett had started to say hello, but noticed the look on Brian’s face and stopped.  He looked at Ted and Blake and they both shook their heads and said “don’t ask”.  He nodded and replied, “I am pretty sure I can guess anyway…” and started to sip his Cosmo.

 

            A moment later, Brian walked back out of the crowd and headed toward the backroom – a young blond following closely behind him.  Emmett sighed as he leaned back against the bar.  “Let’s hope it doesn’t take our fearless leader another five years to reach his next revelation…”

 

            Ted got a real confused looked on his face and turned to Emmett.  “What are you talking about?”

 

            “Well,” Emmett explained, “it took Brian five years to realize how much Justin meant to him…  I am just hoping it won't take him five more to realize that no amount of booze or faceless blondes will be able to take his place or make the pain go away.”  Ted and Blake nodded in agreement.  The three of them looked at each other and all knew that booze and faceless blondes was exactly how Brian planned to deal with this.  All they could hope for was that Justin wouldn’t be planning any surprise trips homes.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes:

Thanks to my betas: scoobysnacks & j_folked.

* * *

   Brian was leaning against one of the walls in the backroom of Babylon with his latest trick.  He looked down at him with only mild interest.  He had no idea what the guy’s name was let alone anything else about him.  


 

            “Not true,” he thought to himself.  “ _I know he can dance ‘fairly well’ and (with some practice) he may someday be able to give a decent blowjob_.”  He was doing a good enough job for the moment however.  He noticed the guy had slowed down and looked down to see if there was a reason.  The guy was looking up at him with bright blue eyes; looking for some kind of positive feedback.  Brian’s first inclination was to tell the guy that there was an advantage to _not_ knowing what you are doing – it can only get better.  He rejected that idea after some more careful consideration.  His cock _was_ still in the guy’s mouth.  Now was probably not the best time for such “constructive criticism”.  Instead, he plastered his normal sneer on his face and said, “Don’t stop now…”  That was all the encouragement the trick needed.  He moved his concentration back to Brian’s cock and picked up the pace.  Brian leaned his head back and tried to concentrate as well; telling himself that the sooner he came the sooner he could ditch the guy and go get a drink.  A couple minutes later he came.  He delivered his obligatory smile to the trick and muttered a “thanks, it’s been real” as he zipped his jeans and walked away.  


 

            He stopped at the bar and looked at the bartender.  He had debated fucking the guy on more than one occasion, but every time he thought about it, he would remember his narrow escape from the sexual harassment suit at work several years ago.  He had made himself a promise after that to NEVER fuck someone he worked with ever again.  The bartender, Tony, looked up and saw Brian looking at him.  He nodded at the boss, reached under the counter, grabbed a bottle of Jim Beam and put it on the bar.  Brian nodded his head toward the stack of tumblers and Tony turned and grabbed one to hand to him.  Brian took it from him and poured himself a drink.  He picked up the glass and looked at the dark fluid swirling around in the glass.  The motion mesmerized him for a few seconds.  He gave a disgusted sigh and then downed the drink and closed his eyes as the familiar burning sensation in his throat followed.  A few seconds later, a feeling of contentment flashed through him.  Something about the series of events unnerved him, but he couldn’t put his finger on the cause.  He thought about it for a few more seconds before giving up and quickly downing another glass and then decided to go home.  


 

************************************************************************  


 

            Justin had managed to divert Daphne's attention away from the Inner Sanctum for a couple of days and was feeling rather proud it.  He had only been there once or twice since moving to New York and both times were when Emmett had come to visit him.  He had a blast those times of course.  It was nearly impossible to NOT have fun with Emmett.  However, the few times he had thought about going clubbing on his own he had quickly talked him self out of it.  He wasn’t afraid of going alone; it just didn’t compare to going out with “the gang”.  It bored him.  He had already played “who wants to take me home tonight” back in Pittsburgh and it all seemed rather childish to him now.  


 

            He wasn’t really looking for a new lover (yet).  He wasn’t “in the mood” to find someone to bring home for a night.  He simply could not seem to get motivated in any social aspect.  He didn’t feel depressed; he just was tired of playing the games.  Unfortunately, this mindset caused Justin to become extremely isolated.  The only people he really talked to were art dealers and their associates.  Justin had used his isolation to concentrate on his art and decided he would have plenty of time for fun later once he was a success.  Having to deal with the club scene now would throw a wrench in his plans; but he was about to realize his vote didn’t count – at least not this week.  


 

            “Come on Justin! You won’t have enough time to get ready if you don’t get in the shower right now!” Daphne whined from the other room.  


 

            “Ok – Ok… I’m heading there now.” Justin called as he rinsed his brush out.  He stopped at the door to his room and was about to open it when he heard Daphne giggle.  “Stop Keith – I’m trying to get dressed!”  Justin laughed to himself and continued on to the bathroom.  Five minutes later he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist.  He ran some mousse through his hair and brushed his teeth before opening the bathroom door and heading back towards his room.  


 

             “If you’re naked – you better get covered up fast because I am opening the door…”  Justin called out.  As he grabbed the doorknob he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.  


 

             “JESUS CHRIST!” Justin yelled as he turned around.  He grabbed his chest to keep his heart from jumping out of it just as his towel fell off.  This made for quite an interesting scene when Daphne walked into the hallway:  Justin standing butt-ass naked, holding his chest with Keith trying desperately to stifle a laugh.  


 

             Daphne walked over and put one arm around each man in the hallway and then leaned over and whispered to Justin, “It would be a waste of time for you to try and convert him babe…”    Justin opened his mouth to try and explain but Daphne just “shh’d” him, gave him a peck on the cheek and then grabbed Keith’s hand and walked into the living room – the two of them laughing to the point of tears.  20 minutes later the three of them left for the Inner Sanctum.  


 

**********************************************************************   


 

            Brian was sitting on his sofa sipping a glass of Jim Beam.  Again he was captivated as the fluid swirled in his glass.  He was sitting there reliving the last few weeks and had discovered a common thread… more often than not he found himself concentrating so he would come faster.  That way he could get back out to the bar and get another drink.  He wondered to himself when he had started to look forward to drinking more than he looked forward to a good blowjob.  He never verbalized an answer – he didn’t need to.  All he could do was look at his phone and cuss at himself.  He took a deep breath, picked up the phone and started dialing Justin’s number.  


 

            The phone rang several times before the answering machine picked up and started playing.  “This is Justin.  I’m sorry I can answer the phone right now.  Leave your name and number and I will call you back as soon as I can.”  Brian opened his mouth to say something a couple times only to realize he wasn’t sure what to say.  His first instinct was to apologize yet again for the phone call the other day, but he had already apologized to Justin’s answering machine twice for that episode (and at least twice to Justin himself during the call).  He had to draw the line somewhere and Brian decided four apologies in one week was enough.  
             
            “I guess you are too busy fucking one of your many admirers to ever return a fucking phone call!” was right on the tip of Brian’s tongue.  Luckily he was able to stop himself before he said it.  He made a mental note at that point to NOT be drinking Jim Beam whenever he was planning to talk to Justin in the future – if he would ever get the chance to talk to him again, of course.  He was jerked out of his train of thought when he heard the answering machine click and then go to a dial tone.  “Well fuck – that was certainly productive,” Brian mumbled to himself as he hung up the phone.  He debated calling back and actually leaving a message, but he didn’t want to risk saying something else he would regret so he decided to wait and let his mind clear a little.  


 

************************************************************************  


 

            Once they got to the Inner Sanctum and he was able to see that Keith was cool with being there, Justin relaxed a good bit.  He never tried to go out of his way to make people uncomfortable around him – well, except for that “Pink Posse” fiasco – however, over the last couple days he had managed to make a couple comments that would make most straight people blush – or worse.  Then dropping his towel in the hall this afternoon certainly didn’t help matters.  He was just grateful that neither Keith nor Daphne were offended.  He didn’t expect that Daphne would be anyway.  She knew Justin would never try to break up someone’s relationship.  Even if he would do something like that, not only was Daphne his best friend, she was also a girl so that obviously meant Keith was straight.  Those facts alone would doom that concept from the start.  
             
            “I told you this place would be cool!” Daphne yelled to Keith.  He was standing right next to her, but with the music blaring she had to yell in order for Keith to hear her.  That clenched things in Justin’s mind – Daphne had obviously prepared Keith for this visit and for the possibility of going to a gay bar beforehand.  He smiled to himself and then leaned over and kissed Daphne on the cheek.  


 

            “What was that for?” she asked him with a smile.  


 

            “It was just a small thank you for always being here for me – even when I don’t realize how much I need you in my corner,” he leaned in and replied.  


 

            “Well,” she said as she kissed his cheek in return, “you are very welcome!”  


 

            One of their favorite songs came on and the three of them hit the dance floor.  Daphne was the only woman there, but luckily the men didn’t seem to have a problem with her.  They had been dancing and drinking for hours and having a fantastic time when Daphne decided they needed to find someone to join their party as a fourth.  Justin told her not to waste her time.  They were having a great time just the way they were, but he also knew that she knew he missed dancing with someone one on one.  Justin laughed as he watched Keith pointing at a few guys and then looking at Daphne for her approval.  Each time she wrinkled her nose and shook her head - apparently not impressed with any of his selections.  


 

            All of a sudden Justin saw Keith’s expression change – like he had realized he had found the perfect guy for Justin to dance with.  Daphne and Justin both followed Keith’s gaze and simultaneously both of them felt their stomachs hit the floor.  Leaning against the bar was one of the most beautiful men alive.  Tall… thin… short dark hair…   if Brian ever needed a stunt double, this guy could have been a perfect choice.   


 

            Instantly Keith could feel the atmosphere change in the room and not for the better.  He followed Daphne’s gaze back to Justin.  All of the color had left his face and his eyes would dart from the guy Keith had pointed out to anywhere else in the room and then back to the guy again.  Then Justin started fidgeting and then looked at Daphne and said, “I’m getting tired – you guys can stay if you want, but I am going to go home.”  


 

            “Wait!  Justin, don’t let Brian ruin our good time!” Daphne pleaded.  


 

            “Justin, I’m real sorry if I did something wrong man,” Keith said.  


 

            “Don’t be silly Keith.  That man is gorgeous – any guy would be thrilled to have him,” Justin said.  He then looked over at Daphne, “And I’m not letting Brian ruin our good time.  I have had a great time tonight.  I am just getting tired.” He kissed Daphne on the cheek and patted Keith on the shoulder before heading for the door.  


 

            “Damn, Daphne, I didn’t mean to fuck things up tonight,” Keith said.  


 

            “I know you didn’t babe,” Daphne said as they walked towards the door.  “Justin would have seen him eventually and all of the same things would have happened.”  


 

            They caught up with Justin as he was leaving and the three of them walked back to Justin’s apartment together.  When they got back to the apartment the answering machine was blinking.  Justin hit the play button to listen to the message.  They listened to a minute’s worth of recorded silence before the machine cut off.  


 

            “Now that is one dedicated prank caller,” Keith said, trying to lighten the mood.  


 

            “It was Brian,” Justin said as he hit the delete button.  


 

            “How can you tell?” Daphne asked.  


 

            “We had an argument the other day.  He has already called twice this week and left a message apologizing,” Justin explained.  


 

             “So what does that have to do with a blank message?” Daphne asked – still very confused.  


 

             Justin continued his explanation, “I have not called him back yet and he refuses to apologize to a machine more than twice.  Since I was not here, this was basically his way of letting me know that he called to see if I was ready to forgive him without having to apologize yet again to the machine.”  Justin rolled his eyes as everyone did when talking about the way Brian would go out of his way to act anything other than normal.  


 

             “I am not going to let this night end on a negative note,” Justin said with a determination he had not felt in ages.  He walked into the kitchen area and came back with a bottle of tequila, the salt shaker, a couple limes and three shot glasses.  An hour later none of them were feeling any pain.  


 

             “So what are you going to do when you become rich and famous?” Keith asked, laughing at himself because he sounded like he was conducting an interview.  


 

             “My first order of business will be to forget all of the little people.” Justin said and they all started laughing.  They laughed and joked until they had finished off the bottle.  


 

             All of a sudden the phone began to ring again.  Justin could only think of one person who would be calling at this time of night.  “Why don’t the two of you take my room for the night,” Justin offered.   “I’m just going to grab the phone and then crash on the sofa.”  With that Keith and Daphne said good night and headed towards his room.  


 

             “Hello.” Justin said as he picked up the phone.  Brian had not really expected Justin to be home so when he heard him answer the phone he was not sure what to say.  


 

             “Hello?” Justin repeated.  He waited about 30 seconds before speaking again, “Brian, this is not the answering machine – it’s really me – so unless you _want_ me to hang up – you need to start talking…”  


 

             All of a sudden Brian seemed to find his voice, “Sorry Justin, I didn’t expect you to be home – you caught me off guard…  Did you get my messages?” he asked.  


 

             “Yes I did,” Justin said.  “I haven’t had a chance to call you back as of yet.  Daphne and her boyfriend are here visiting and I have been taking them out sightseeing a lot.”   
“I’m glad our argument hasn’t ruined your visit,” Brian said, although he wasn’t sure that was entirely true.  


 

             “I’ve not allowed myself to dwell on it,” Justin explained.  “If I had – things might be different.  But I knew there was no way I was going to change your mind if that was how you really felt so I didn’t see any reason to let it bring me down when I wanted to show Daphne and Keith a nice time.”  


 

             Brian sighed; Justin was going to make him work for this…  “Justin, I started apologizing as soon as I heard the words come out of my mouth!   I don’t even know why I said it.”  He paused and took a deep breath.  “That’s not entirely true.  When I asked who would be calling you and talking like that I meant it as a joke…  I know it didn’t come off that way, but that was how I meant it.  When I heard your response it just pissed me off.  I know, I know – who am I to expect you to be celibate… in fact – I DON’T expect it at all…  I have always loved watching you fuck some other guy because I knew that guy was going to leave and I would be fucking you for the rest of the night.”  


 

             The part of him that was “Brian Fucking Kinney” was telling his mouth to stop before he ruined his reputation.  However, the part of him that knew how much Justin meant to him also knew that his bullshit never got him anywhere with Justin and he was better off just coming clean.  “Do you remember when you were staying with me after that bastard attacked you?”  He asked, but did not wait for an answer, “More specifically, do you remember when you went back to Debbie’s house that one night after walking in and finding me fucking the zucchini guy on the couch?”  


 

             The look on Justin’s face was of utter confusion.  He had no idea where Brian was going with this line of thought, but he imagined the ride would be memorable…  “Yes, I remember that time.”  He said – trying desperately to figure out what was going through Brian’s mind.  


 

             “Do you remember when I found you later on that evening at Babylon and explained that regardless of what I was doing throughout the evening – no matter what, I wanted to come home to you at the end of the night?” Brian had never forgotten that night; it was the closest he had EVER come to admitting he had feelings for someone in his life…  


 

             Justin felt a small smile creep onto his face.  He remembered that night fondly.  He knew it would be considered a small step to some people, but anyone that knew Brian knew that was a huge step for him.  They had gone home that night and fucked for hours before going to sleep; and when Justin had finally drifted off to sleep, he had done so with a smile on his face – a smile very similar to the one he was sporting now…  


 

             Justin’s voice was barely above a whisper as he answered Brian while the memory played in his mind, “Yes Brian, I remember…”   


 

             “At that point everything was ok because we were always together before the night was over; but we aren’t together now and it just bothered me to think of you curled up next to someone else.  Before I knew what I was doing I started saying all that nasty shit.” a section of his brain had no idea what he was doing… it cringed more with every word… the other part of his brain knew that what he was saying was the truth and was going to take complete advantage of the opportunity to say these things.  


 

             It was Justin’s turn to be silent.  Brian’s confession had thrown him off completely.  He was prepared for one lame excuse after another; but he was definitely not expecting the truth!  


 

             Justin was not sure what to say…  “I didn’t know you felt that way, Brian.  In fact, I refused to even think that way anymore after I heard that you decided to rebuild Babylon.  I just figured that your life went back to normal and that was why you stopped calling…”  


 

             “Justin… what I considered normal 6 years ago and what I consider normal now is very different…” Brian said.  


 

             Blame it on the alcohol, but Justin was missing something.  “Why? What has changed?” he asked.  


 

             Brian looked at the phone wondering where Justin had left his brain… “What has changed?” he asked.  “Well – let’s see…  I guess the biggest change is that…”  Brian paused here trying to find the right words…  He started to say something a couple of times and stopped himself – trying to think of the best way to put it…  


 

             “Fuck!” Brian said as he gave in and decided to just say what was on his mind – and wait for the chips to fall…   


 

             “The difference is that I come home every night to an empty loft…  I shower alone…  I take some faceless guy in the back room of Babylon MAYBE once a week instead of once a night… when we _are_ back there, all I can think of is getting off as fast as possible so I can go get a fucking drink…  when I get bored drinking, I go home – once again – to an empty loft…  I crawl into my empty bed and look over at your side of it and wonder why the fuck I let you leave in the first place without putting up some type of fight!”  


 

              As he realized what he had just said, Brian panicked.  He had promised himself he would never let Justin know how he truly felt about his leaving. He didn’t want Justin to ever doubt the choices he had made or those that he would be making…  Before Justin could say anything in response – Brian hung up the phone…


	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes:

Thanks again to my betas:  scoobysnacks & j_folked.

* * *

            Justin stood there listening to the dial tone roaring in his ear.  He had a hundred different emotions hitting him at once.  He had built up such internal resentment towards Brian over what he assumed was going on now that Babylon had reopened; he was instantly overcome with guilt when he realized how far off he had been.

 

 

            The guilt was running hand in hand with a certain sense of accomplishment.  After the multiple times Brian had rejected him during that first year, there had been a small part of him that had always wanted to be able to say ‘I did it!  I’m the reason Brian Kinney has settled down!’  At this stage, though, Justin _thought_ he was well past that.  After all, he wasn’t a love struck teenager anymore.  He had to admit that while acknowledging these previous thoughts was bad enough – actually acknowledging the feelings of accomplishment stemming from those thoughts was even worse.

 

 

            He felt bad when he realized how miserable Brian was, but truth be told, it also made him feel good.  As long and hard as he had fought for Brian’s love, any reminder of it made it feel even stronger.  It made him feel like a complete person.  It reminded him that, even if he bombed in New York, there were still people back home that would love him no matter what…  back home…

 

 

            Justin’s train of thought was abruptly interrupted when the dial tone was replaced by that obnoxious beeping noise that starts to play as a reminder to hang up your phone.  He replayed the conversation in his head again.  Brian had never really wanted Justin to go to New York.  Once again – as he had done several times in the past – Brian had sacrificed his own happiness for the sake of someone else and their happiness.  Justin chuckled to himself; for someone who had always preached that he didn’t believe in love, and who would go out of his way to make people think he didn’t care about them at all; Brian always did everything he could to make sure bad things didn’t happen to his friends – or at least tried to minimize what he could.  As far as Justin was concerned, if sacrificing your own wants and desires for someone else’s didn’t qualify as love, he wasn’t sure what did.

 

 

            There were too many thoughts going through his mind for him to try and sleep right now.  He went back to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of Jim Beam ‘in honor of Brian’.  He went back into the living room and sat down in his recliner.  He turned the radio on and listened to some random station while sipping his drink.  When he was in the mood to dance, he used his walkman so that he could play the music as loud as he wanted without it being disruptive to his neighbors.  But at times like this, when he just wanted some background noise; he listened to his big stereo with the volume down low – barely above a whisper.

 

 

            He had leaned back and closed his eyes while continuing to nurse his drink.  He wasn’t trying to block anyone or anything out; he just wanted to clear everything out of his head for a while so he could get some rest.  To ensure that his head would clear as quickly as possible, Justin had grabbed his “treasure chest” from the cupboard above the fridge and rolled up a joint.  As he was sitting in his recliner sipping his drink he lit the joint and took a big hit off of it.  He held the smoke in his lungs as long as he could before letting it out slowly.  In between drags on his joint he drank down what was left in his glass.

 

 

            He looked down at the empty glass and was debating going for a refill when a familiar song came across the radio.  A smile came onto Justin’s face and he decided the refill could wait…

 

 

_You can dance every dance with the guy that gives you the eye…_  
_Let him hold you tight…_  
_You can smile every smile for the man who held your hand ‘neath the pale moonlight…_  
_But don’t forget who’s taking you home and in whose arms you’re going to be…_  
_So darlin’ save the last dance for me…_   


 

 

            Justin closed his eyes and laid back in his recliner while the song and his recovered memories washed over him.  There were still holes here and there in his memories of that night, but he had recovered most of the ones where he and Brian were dancing together.

 

 

            He took another long hit and held the smoke in again.  He kept replaying the dance over and over again, as they would start to leave the dance floor he would rewind it in his mind and play it again.  He had grown very accustomed to this because the one time he had let it play out farther he had opened his eyes just as he had heard Brian calling his name.  For days after that, every time he closed his eyes he could see the baseball bat in mid swing.

 

 

            He realized the song on the radio had changed but he reached over and turned it off before it could break through his train of thought.  He finished off the joint as he turned off all the lights and headed for the bathroom – humming the song the whole time.  He continued to hum as he washed his hands and turned out the bathroom and hallway lights.   He had gotten rather good at navigating through his apartment when all the lights were off - it was one of the tricks all starving artists used to save money.  The humming got softer as he made his way through the apartment until he was just hearing the music in his head.  As he slipped in between his sheets, his eyes remained closed and a smile spread across his face.  All the worry and sadness he had been feeling about Brian was fading away…  Brian still loved him and better still – Brian was missing him!  He lay there waiting to drift off to sleep with a smile still on his face.

 

*********************************************************************** 

 

Brian cussed himself over and over again for the next twenty minutes while he finished off a dying bottle of Jim Beam.  He had gotten careless this evening; letting Justin know how much he was thinking about him.  It wasn’t that he was trying to hide it or deny it; he just wanted to make this transition as easy as possible for Justin.  He actually had been surprised when Justin had believed it.  Justin was better than anyone else when it came to seeing through Brian’s bullshit.  Maybe it had been easier to maintain with so many miles between them.  Keeping up appearances was rather easy when all correspondence was through phone calls and emails.  He decided to go to bed and worry about the potential fallout in the morning.  As he walked over to turn off the radio, _Save the Last Dance for Me_ by The Drifters started playing.  The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile.  He sat back down and listened to the whole song before finally turning off the radio and going to bed.

 

********************************************************************** 

 

            Justin was waking up slowly.  He could hear Daphne in the kitchen making breakfast, but he didn’t want to get up yet.  The combination of his talk with Brian, the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed and the joint had given him the most vivid dreams he had ever had.  At one point he could have sworn someone was really giving him head!  If he had a choice, Justin would stay in bed all day just to reminisce.

 

 

            He grumbled softly to himself when he heard Daphne call out to Keith and tell him that breakfast was ready.  He had pulled the comforter up over his head hoping he could hide out a little longer.  He felt the bed move and realized someone had been laying there next to him!  All of a sudden he was completely awake.  He didn’t remember bringing anyone home last night.  What he _did_ remember was that he had sent Daphne and Keith to sleep in his room before answering the phone.  As he looked around he realized that he was in his bedroom… in his bed…  and someone else had just gotten out of it!  Daphne was obviously in the kitchen so that only left one person.  At that moment, the bed dipped down again and Keith leaned over him, “Morning Sunshine.  Daphne said breakfast is ready, why don’t you come join us?  You must be hungry after last night…”  



	5. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: Thanks to my betas: scoobysnacks & j_folked  


* * *

            Justin just sat there for a minute, totally dumbfounded and frantically searching his brain for some memory that would explain everything.    How on earth did he end up in bed with Daphne and Keith last night?  What in the hell had happened to cause Keith to make that comment?  As Justin was about to open his mouth and ask for some clarification, Daphne walked into the bedroom.  

 

 

            “Well, you are nothing if not determined I guess,” Daphne laughed at Justin as she climbed onto the bed with the two men.  “Ya know,” she continued, “if you were going to try and sneak in a quickie this morning, you should have started when I first got up to make breakfast.  Now it’s too late – your breakfast will be cold if we don’t eat soon.” She said matter-of-factly.

 

 

            “Daphne!” Justin exclaimed, his mind still racing.  “I wasn’t trying to convert Keith yesterday in the hallway and I am not trying to fuck him now!”  His mind kept racing, feeling like he had left something out.  Finally, the thought came to him as he added, “And I don’t even like quickies!”  Realizing how that was **_so_** not the point, he finally just ran his hands over his face.  Something else dawned on him as he heard Daphne and Keith kissing.  “Wait a second!  Assuming I **_was_ ** trying to convert him yesterday, and assuming I **_was_** trying to fuck him a minute ago – which I **_wasn’t_** , but just assuming I **_was_** , you don’t seem very upset about the whole thing!”

 

 

            Daphne chuckled.  She knew Justin hadn’t been trying anything, but it was funny watching him slip into the role of a child vehemently denying any wrong doing while trying to figure out what would happen if he actually **_had_** done something wrong.  “Why would I be upset, Justin?  At least once or twice a week I am lucky enough to get to watch Keith fucking one of our gay friends back home.  Why would it upset me to see the two of you fucking?  In fact, this would have been even hotter since I have first hand experience with what you can offer him.” She explained with a wink to Keith.  Her voice and mannerisms so casual one would think she was discussing what to make for dinner later.

 

 

            Justin’s mouth dropped again as she spoke.  He was sure he must still be drunk or high – that was the only logical explanation for this conversation.  He could see Keith moving towards him out of the corner of his eye, but couldn’t move – he was frozen in a state of shock continuing to stare at Daphne.  Keith brought his hand up to Justin’s face and gently pushed up on his chin.

 

 

            “For someone who swears he is not trying to seduce me, you seem to have your mouth just hanging open every time I look at you dude,” Keith said as he and Daphne started laughing softly.  

 

 

            “There were so many thing running through Justin’s mind at that second, he just grabbed the first thought he could and started talking, “And you have no idea what I could offer him.  That time with you was not what I am typically like during sex.  I was being very slow and gentle trying to make sure it was not too uncomfortable for you but also trying to make sure you still enjoyed it!  When I top other men, it is typically rougher and a lot wilder!”  The grin that erupted on her face made Justin realize, once again, that he was picking details that were really beside the point in the grand scheme of things.

 

 

            “What the fuck am I saying?!” he said as he felt what he was sure was the last of his sanity slipping away.

 

 

            Daphne leaned over and kissed his cheek before hugging him.  “Justin - relax.  Everything is cooked ok?  Let’s go eat before it gets cold and then I’ll explain everything.”

 

 

            “Yea, let’s do that,” Justin replied, “at least I know what breakfast is and understand the concepts behind it.” He muttered as he threw back the blankets only to discover that at some point during the night his boxers had ended up around his ankles.  It only took him a second to regain his composure, get himself untangled and stand up to put them back on before grabbing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt.  Typically, he was up and had taken a shower before he would eat anything, but so far this morning, things had proven to be anything but typical.

 

 

            As Justin pulled his shirt over his head, he remembered how realistic his dream had been and decided he needed one piece of information before he would ever leave the room.  He sat down on the folding chair and ran his fingers through his hair and then looked at Daphne and Keith.  “I need to know one thing before we leave this room,” he said as he glanced back and forth between the two of them.  “Did I have **_ANY_** kind of sex with either of you last night?”  Daphne and Keith looked at each other with one of those ‘should we tell him’ looks and Justin felt his stomach start to head for his feet.  They looked at his reaction and both of them burst out laughing.

 

 

            Daphne took a minute to gain her composure and then said, “Justin – relax.  The only person you had sex with last night was yourself and whoever you were dreaming about.”

 

 

            Justin looked shell-shocked, “Then what was all that about how hungry I should be and why were my boxers around my ankles?” he asked.

 

 

            This is when Keith spoke up, “Well whatever you were dreaming must have been pretty good because you were moving around so much and making so much noise you woke us up.” He laughed.  “This whole thing just now was kind of like a payback…”

 

 

            “Well, not the whole thing.” Daphne corrected.  “Only the parts about what you thought happened last night.  Everything I said about Keith and my relationship is very true.”  She clarified with a naughty grin appearing on her face.  “But I can explain that all later…”

 

 

            Justin didn’t know whether to be relieved or embarrassed.  Then he thought about what could have happened and decided embarrassment was the least of his worries.  He could feel his stomach starting to growl and stood up.  “If we have finished taping the latest episode of the Twilight Zone, I’m hungry and I need a drink!”  With that, he walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to pour a glass of something -   anything…

 

            

            “Justin – it’s only 9am!  Don’t you think it’s a bit early for that?” Daphne asked as she and Keith followed him into the kitchen.

 

 

            “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” he replied before taking a big gulp of Jim Beam.  “I’m sure I heard that in some country song once.”

            

 

~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~   *   ~  


 

            Brian woke up to find his cock hard as a rock.  He remembered the conversation / confession he’d had with Justin.   He remembered listening to their song before going to bed last night.  Unfortunately, he was no closer to knowing what to do to prevent the potential fallout.

 

 

            Trying to ignore his hard-on, Brian got up to take his shower and get ready for work.  Once he stepped into the shower however, he knew he was fighting a losing battle.  He had noticed that he was still holding on to Justin’s favorite shampoo and conditioner and even though Justin has been gone for months, his extra loofah and favorite shower gel were still in the same place they had been off and on for the last five years.

 

 

            Ordinarily, the only time the stuff ever moved was when the cleaning lady was there.  Everywhere Brian looked in the shower stall he saw Justin.  When he took in a deep breath he could smell him.  He was never going to be able to get any work done at this rate.  He opened Justin's shower gel and took a big deep breath, taking in Justin’s scent – or at least part of it.  He kept his eyes closed while he did that a couple more times.  He realized suddenly that the erection that he had willed into submission before stepping into the shower was now back with a vengeance.  Before he knew what he was doing, he had poured some of Justin’s shower gel into the palm of his hand and began stroking his stiff cock.  He leaned back against the wall and let out a long breathy moan.  With all the thoughts of Justin already in his head, it didn’t take long for him to come.  As he stood there in the shower afterward he tried to figure out when he had become such a dyke.

 

 

            He finished his shower and as he went to step out, he grabbed Justin's toiletries and tossed them in the garbage can hoping their absence would make it easier for him to get through each day.  He dried off and got dressed and was standing in front of the bathroom mirror checking his hair when he glanced into the shower stall.  He looked at it for several minutes before realizing what was bothering him.  He grabbed Justin’s things out of the garbage can and put them back in the shower.  He checked his hair one last time and when his gaze caught sight of Justin’s things back ‘where they belonged’, he smiled before he could stop himself.  Shaking his head in disgust he grabbed his car keys and muttered to himself as he walked out the door…  “I swear, I must have grown a uterus while I was sleeping.”

 

 

            It was going on 11 o’clock.  Brian had made short work of the two meetings scheduled for that morning and the rest of his day looked disgustingly empty.  He leaned back in his chair, trying to figure out what to do about Justin.  About a half hour later, Ted buzzed him and said he had a handful of papers for Brian to sign.  Brian told him to bring them up now since he wasn’t really busy at the moment.  “Be there in just a minute!” Ted replied.  Brian went back to troubleshooting his current problem.

 

 

            When Ted walked in five minutes later, Brian was deep in thought.  He didn’t even realize Ted had come in until he tried to get his attention by clearing his throat.  All of a sudden, Brian looked at him and realized that Ted was waiting for him.

 

 

            “Sorry Ted, I’ve been brainstorming, trying to solve a problem I am having with one of the older accounts.  I didn’t even see you come in or hear you for that matter.  What accounts are due for renewal?” Brian asked as he looked at the contracts Ted had placed in front of him.

 

 

            “These aren’t renewals,” Ted explained with excitement written all over his face.  “These are for the clients you met with this morning!  Both of them signed the contracts before leaving!” he said.

 

            

            “No shit?” Brian asked, obviously impressed – not only with his own abilities to present the ideas; but also with Ted’s abilities to take  “we will call you with our decision by the end of the week” and turn in into a signed contract before the end of the same business day!

 

 

            “No shit!” Ted repeated.  He knew this was a big deal to Brian, even if Brian wasn’t bubbling over with excitement.  Brian’s response was actually proof enough – he obviously had not been expecting either of these contracts to be in his hands today.

 

 

            “You did real good, Charlie Brown” Brian replied.  This was a huge compliment coming from Brian.

 

 

            “Thanks!” Ted said, still obviously thrilled with the day’s events.  “So, what’s the problem with the older account?  I have some free time, maybe I can help you with it.” he offered.

 

 

            “I don’t really think anyone can fix it but me unfortunately.” Brian replied.  He noted that his response took some of the wind out of Ted’s sails and he cursed himself.  Ted had just wrapped up two big accounts and was feeling great – as well he should.  Brian didn’t want to mess that feeling up for him.  “Of course, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to bounce some ideas and such off of you…”  Brian said in hopes of replenishing Ted’s mood.  It worked.

 

 

            “Absolutely!  I’m all ears!” Ted said, barely able to contain his excitement.  He loved the interaction that was present in this job.  That was what had always been missing at Workshafters.  He was still doing accounting; but here he was more than a nameless, faceless accountant.  At Kinnetik, his input was valued and the people here were personable and cared about each other.  It was so much more than he had ever had at Workshafters and the fact that it was that much better inspired him to do more as well.

 

 

            “As you well know,” Brian began, “I can usually bluff a client better than anyone else I know.  That campaign for those nasty PoolBoy drinks being a prime example.  I convinced that asshole to hand me fifty thousand dollars and I had no more of an idea for how to market that piss at that moment than he did!”  Brian explained as Ted nodded.

 

 

            “Well, I have a client that I discovered was looking to move his business elsewhere.  I played it off like it was no big deal even though I really don’t want to lose his account.  I played the ‘If you can find better representation elsewhere, then I would want you to go’ card.  I didn’t really think he’d find anything better and still don’t.  The problem is that I overplayed my hand the other day and inadvertently let the client know that I had been thinking about his account a lot more than I let on originally.”  Brian was on the verge of rambling, but it had also become apparent to Ted that he was trying to work all this out while describing it to him.  Ted decided to go out on a limb and interjected.

 

 

            “So you are trying to decide whether to fess up to the client and admit that you would like to keep his business; or continue to play it cold and hope he comes back around…”

 

 

            “Exactly,” Brian said as he continued to run a pencil back and forth through his fingers.

 

 

            “That’s a tough call,” Ted continued.  “Is it a big money account?” he asked.

 

 

            “Not so big that it would really hurt Kinnetik if we lost it,” Brian replied.

 

 

            “So it is more of a pride issue than anything else.” Ted stated rather than asked.

 

 

            Brian laughed softly, “Yea – pretty much.”

 

 

            “Well then, my friend,” Ted said as he collected the new contracts and headed for the door, “I’m afraid you were right – this one is completely on you.  I’m sorry Brian, I’d help if I could…”

 

 

            “I know you would, Ted, thanks.”  Brian replied.  Right before Ted disappeared Brian asked him to send Cynthia in to see him.  Cynthia walked in and they talked for a few minutes before she went back to her desk to make some necessary phone calls.  

 

 

When Brian walked out of his office ten minutes later Cynthia looked up at him, “Your flight is arranged and there will be a car at the loft in an hour to take you to the airport as well as one waiting for you when you land.”  She smiled as she handed him a copy of all the details.

 

 

As Brian walked past Ted’s office he stopped and let Ted know he was going to go deal with the problem they had discussed and should be back on Monday.

 

 

“Not a problem; I’ll help Cynthia hold down the fort here.”  Brian started to walk away when Ted called out:  “By the way Brian…”  Brian popped his head back into Ted’s office with a questioning look on his face.  “Tell Justin I said hello.”  Ted smiled as he watched Brian’s face as he realized that Ted had seen through his story.

 

 

Brian looked at Ted with one of his annoyed looks and simply said, “Fuck you Theodore!”  With that, Brian walked out to his car.  He needed to hurry back to the loft and pack so he could make the flight to New York.


	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes:

Thanks to my beta, scoobysnacks.  You are the best!

Also, the city Daphne talks about in this Chapter is real.  I grew up there & unless things have drastically changed in the last 6 months - everything she says is true.

* * *

They finished breakfast and Justin went to take his long awaited shower. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it and just stood under there while the pelting water cleared his mind. After a few minutes, he grabbed the bar of soap and started to work up some lather to wash his body. Ordinarily he would grab his favorite shower gel and his loofah; but that required more brain power than he could afford after the morning he'd had.  
  
He ran his soap covered hands all over his chest and arms then scrubbed his face before rinsing off. He lathered up his hands again and one at a time he brought his feet up and placed them on the little seat that Daphne said made it so much easier to shave your legs in the shower. He ran his hands over his right foot and leg and then did the same with the left - soaping himself from toes to thighs. Remembering once again the realism of his dream, Justin reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock. Keeping his eyes closed, he was able to relive the dream like he was watching it on TV. He couldn't see the guy's face because it was buried in Justin's lap, but he had short brown hair - just like Brian's he heard in his subconscious. His cock was rock hard now and he was getting closer and closer to his orgasm.  
  
He leaned forward, letting the wall hold him up. Never missing a stroke, Justin bent at his waist and let his left hand run down the length of his crack. He was getting so tired of jerking off alone. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a decent blowjob and he hadn't had anyone in his ass since he left Pittsburgh. It had to be the phone call with Brian that sparked his dream last night. The call had given Justin hope that things weren't totally lost for them.  
  
The feel of his finger pressing against his own hole was making his head spin. Good God he needed to be fucked - often and by someone who knows how! He laughed to himself. Why on earth was he quoting Gone With the Wind now?! Daphne had forced him to watch it the other day. She told him she couldn't decide which character was Brian and which was him. "Stop thinking about that shit right now!" he yelled in his mind. Breeders were the last thing he wanted to think about at this particular moment. Bringing everything back into proper focus, Justin increased his strokes and just as he felt his balls finally letting loose; he pushed his finger inside his hole and came harder than he had in months.  
  
He remained with his body leaning against the wall for a few minutes, trying to catch his breath then rinsed off again and turned off the water. He wrapped a towel around his waist and threw another one around his neck. He'd been in here longer than he had expected to be and he figured he could dry off in his room and free up the bathroom in case Daphne or Keith needed to use it. He went straight to his room, rolling his eyes as he heard Daphne call out, "Keith, close your eyes baby, Justin is parading around in a towel again!" Not able to think of a decent comeback, Justin walked back to the hallway where Daphne was standing there trying to hide a laugh. He draped his arm around her and said, "You know Daphne, you are SUCH a fag hag!" Her smile broadened and she replied, "So true my dear, but that is why you love me!"   
  
"Actually," Justin corrected her, "that is why you love me!" He smiled at her and was walking away when he heard Keith add in, "Yes, and I love everyone!" Justin playfully rolled his eyes again and went to get dressed.  
  
He came back out a few minutes later in a pair of black sweats and a PIFA T-shirt. "Justin," Keith called him over to the kitchen counter, "will you write out the subway route for me to get back to the mall? I'm going to go kill some time at the arcade or something while you and Daphne visit for a while." Justin wrote out all the train changes and a couple of stores in the mall that he thought Keith may like but hadn't had a chance to check out yet. Keith gave Daphne a kiss and then took off.  
  
Justin was sitting in the recliner sketching when Daphne came in with a couple glasses of ice tea and sat on one end of the couch. "One second..." Justin muttered as he found a stopping point. He closed his sketchpad and sat it back down on the stand next to his recliner. He went over and joined Daphne on the couch. He wasn't real sure he wanted to know all the details, but he definitely wanted to know how this all came about. He took a deep breath, then looked at his oldest friend and said, "Ok girlie - spill!"  
  
"Well, we both know how lucrative a standard business degree is in the wondrous Steel Valley," Daphne began. "So when my Grammie got real sick and mom and my aunts asked me to move in and take care of her, it was no big deal. The first few months I was so busy with Grammie that I didn't have time to be bored. Then as things started to deteriorate with her, mom and the aunts started taking turns coming down on the weekends. Partly it was to give me a break, but a lot of it was because they wanted to say their goodbyes on their own terms and not in some rush with a bunch of strangers standing around." Justin reached out and brushed Daphne's arm and she smiled through the hint of tears.  
  
"Anyway, if you think Pittsburgh can be boring, you should spend a couple months in Steubenville, Ohio. When people there want excitement - they head to Pittsburgh!" she laughed as she said this because she knew that after L.A., Justin thought Pittsburgh was - to quote him - "boring as fuck".  
  
"There is only one cinema in the whole damn town! Although they did renovate it in the last few years so now there are five screens instead of three!" She rolled her eyes. "Of course, in the summer there is also a drive-in if you can believe that. I didn't even think drive-ins existed anymore!"  
  
"Other than going to the movies, the only things to do are to go to the high school football games or go bar-hopping. Big Red is the name of their main high school and their football is pretty awesome. They went undefeated this year and won the state championship! But it is a bit difficult to really get into the games without knowing a single person who is playing. As far as the bars go; after Babylon - Steubenville just doesn't compare."  
  
"I ended up spending most of my Friday and Saturday nights hanging at a local pizza shop reading. That place is one of the few things I like about the area actually. It's just a small hole in the wall type place, but they have the best pizza! That is where I met Keith. He works there. I would show up almost every Friday and Saturday with whatever book I was reading, I'd grab one of the tables close to the counter and make a night of it. We exchanged glances and smiles and such and after a few weeks he came and sat down and started talking to me on his break. He worked every weekend and that was my only time I had free, so we couldn't really go out. It was cool though because we got to take our time to talk and get to know each other a lot better than we might have otherwise.  
  
"When Grammie died, he came to the funeral and really helped me get through it; just like you would have if you had been able to stay longer." She said this as she gave him the look that he knew meant he better stop the guilty feeling before it took hold. He had made it down for the funeral, but had to be back in New York the following day. He's hated leaving so soon, but there was nothing he could do. Daphne had been touched that he was able to make it at all. He didn't know her Grammie; he had made the trip to be there for her and they both knew it.  
  
"Mom and the aunts asked if I would mind staying at the house a little longer until all the legal stuff could be handled and of course I agreed. It gave Keith and I a chance to actually go out and stay in" she blushed a little at the last few words, but continued. "A few weeks later I was starting to worry. We had been kissing and necking of course, but it never really went any farther. He kept saying he didn't want to rush anything; that we had all the time in the world, etc. It was sweet, but made me wonder if he really wasn't attracted to me. That didn't make sense - I'd been pressed up against him enough times to know he had to be at least a little his attracted!" Her blush deepened. Justin was always amused that Daphne could listen to the most graphic descriptions of his sexual escapades and barely blink; but discussing her necking with someone made her blush.  
  
"I finally took a page from your book and confronted him. I wasn't rude or anything, I just asked him why we were still dating if he wasn't interested in anything else. It was so confusing because one minute he would seem interested and the next he would be backing away. He pulled out his wallet and started flipping through the pictures. Before I could say anything, he looked up and said, "No - I am not married and I don't have any kids"." Justin laughed a little at that because that was just what he was wondering.  
  
"He showed me pictures of his parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters. Then he showed me the last picture in his wallet. It was a gorgeous looking guy about our age - bedroom eyes, sexy smile - the whole package. I looked up and asked if it was his cousin? Best friend maybe? He shook his head and took a deep breath. He looked up and then said, "we were lovers, Daphne. The reason I haven't tried to go any farther with you is because you have the right to know. I am bisexual."  
  
"Wow." Justin said. He had really thought they were teasing him earlier - even after Daphne had said that part was not a joke.  
  
"He already knew everything about you; so he knew I wasn't homophobic or anything." Daphne continued. "I wasn't sure what to say at first. I just sat there for a minute. I thought about you and how hard it was for you to come out to the people you cared about and realized that this might be even a little harder. The main people you were concerned with were your family and me; but it wasn't like you were trying to start a relationship with any of us." She explained as Justin nodded his understanding.  
  
"Then I remembered walking in on Brian and the zucchini guy. I remembered the way I couldn't take my eyes off of them - even though I was pissed as hell at Brian for hurting you like that. In the blink of an eye I was picturing you bent over the couch and Brian pounding into you." Justin felt his cheeks light up with this comment, but Daphne barely noticed as she continued. "Then all of a sudden I was picturing Keith under Brian instead of you." With that Justin's eyes about popped out of his head and Daphne just started laughing. "The point of that little confession is that I liked the idea of watching him with another guy. I liked it a lot!" she stressed those last words strongly. "I knew that as long as he was careful and always used protection I was ok with it." She saw the look on Justin's face. "I know; it was as big a surprise for me then as it is for you now."  
  
"I don't know how long I sat there running all that through my head, but Keith looked like he was being lowered into a pot of boiling water. So I decided to take pity on him. I moved to sit right next to him and asked him about playing safe and being tested regularly. He said he was always safe no matter whom he was with and that he was tested every six months. I nodded and the picture of Brian and Keith popped back into my head again. I couldn't keep myself from smiling and when I looked back at him I could tell he was a bit confused. I got a real serious look on my face and said, "I only have one thing to say." He nodded his head and readied himself for the worst. I leaned in and started kissing his neck and then whispered "I want to watch"." She sat back, crossed her arms and beamed her smile at Justin.  
  
Justin shook his head while laughing softly. "Daphne, I swear, you are the ultimate fag hag! Debbie would be so proud!" They both got a good laugh at that comment.  
  
"Doesn't it bother you that he wants to be with someone else? Or, more importantly," Justin clarified as his eyes stared off for a moment of reflection, "aren't you worried that someday it will bother you?"  
  
"Not really." Daphne began to explain. "There are things that a guy can give him that I can't... even if I wear a strap-on it's still not the same." She added as she slipped into deep thought about this.  
  
"For future reference Daphne; I don't need to know all the details ok?" Justin said as he shivered. He did not ever want to picture Daphne wearing a strap-on!  
  
"So is your relationship completely open? I mean does he sleep with other women? Do you get to sleep with other men?" Justin had to admit it was a bit ironic to hear himself asking how an open relationship worked. Then again, if his and Brian's had worked as well as Daphne and Keith's relationship seemed to be working; they might still be together under the same roof instead of "together" via email and phone calls.  
  
"Usually it is just our gay friends that we invite over; but we have also been known to bring a hetero couple home as well." She answered; knowing that would bring more questions. Justin was too engrossed in the conversation to stop now.   
  
"So you wife swap basically, even though you're not married?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to this question, but he asked it anyway.  
  
"It's not exactly wife swapping. No one is actually singled out or anything." She paused for a minute and shrugged innocently. "We all just enjoy each other." She gave a small smile as the blush crept into her face again.  
  
Justin let that sink in for a second before asking this last question. "Daphne, are you bisexual as well?"  
  
She smiled. "I don't go looking for relationships with other women. I just enjoy them when we happen to invite them home. I don't know how to define it exactly. I guess we could always just say that I dabble with it." She said and laughed.  
  
Justin was a bit shocked. He never saw any of this coming. The look on his face gave him away and Daphne smiled softly. The look was just what she expected - acceptance. The shock was still there, but the acceptance was there as well.  
  
"Ultimately, Justin, I can tell you this in all honesty. I love Keith and he loves me. Whatever we do with others does not change that. In fact, if we didn't love each other and trust each other as much as we do, the rest of it wouldn't exist. I know you hate this phrase; but sometimes it really is just fucking. Even the sex we have together while others are present is not the same as when we are alone. When we are alone it is about sharing a part of ourselves with each other. It brings us closer on a level beyond friendship. When we are with others it is about making everyone feel good."  
  
"Don't get me wrong - there are emotions there as well. We don't sleep with people who are not already our good friends. But the emotions are just on a completely different level. It's a different headspace. Sex with others is what we do for fun. Sex between just the two of us is about love." She smiled softly, hoping he was hearing and understanding everything she was saying. He nodded his head as he continued to process all the information she had given him.  
  
They were both shocked when they realized it was after 4pm. It seemed like it had only been an hour or so.  
  
"I guess I should go track down my boyfriend." She said with a laugh.  
  
"Ok, I think I'm going to go take another shower, maybe it will help clear my head." They both laughed at that. Justin gave Daphne a kiss and hug before heading to the shower. He also thanked her for sharing all of that with him; secretly wondering if he could some how relate it to his own life.  
  
Justin leaned into the water and let it envelope him for the second time that day. He had definitely learned a lot about Daphne that afternoon and he had to admit he liked this new side of her. He also wondered how her parents felt about all of this - if they even knew at all. He wondered if they would try to "blame" him for somehow corrupting her back in high school. He did his best Scarlet O'Hara and decided to worry about that another day. He just decided to stand there for a while and enjoy the hot water beating down on him.  
  
While Justin was getting back in the shower Daphne went and did her make up and checked her hair. Once she was happy with how she looked, she grabbed her purse and headed out to find Keith at the mall. She grabbed Justin's extra key and locked the door on the way out. As she reached the doors to the apartment building, she saw a cab pull up and wondered if Keith had run out of things to do at the mall. "Not likely." She thought to herself. In fact, she highly doubted he had ventured beyond the arcade.  
  
She started to move a little faster, hoping to catch the cab if it indeed was not Keith. She opened the lobby door without looking at who was stepping out of the car and started to yell, "Hold that cab!" All she got out was "Hold that -" before she ran into "- Brian."  
  
Brian smirked. "Well, hello Daphne, my dear. You are looking wonderful."  
  
"Thanks." She smiled up at him. "Did Justin know you were coming?"  
  
"No; as a matter of fact he didn't. I had a last minute business trip. He is probably busy. I should just go grab a room somewhere and try and call him later." Brian was trying to play everything down - act like the cold hard ass everyone knew and... well... expected. To anyone who had never met him or been a witness to his year with Justin, he might have been able to pull that off; but even Daphne knew him better than that now. She also knew him well enough to hide the smile on her face before she spoke up again.  
  
"No, he is not busy at all. I was just wondering because he didn't tell us to make ourselves scarce for the evening." She opened the door to the building and walked through and then held it for Brian as well. "I don't know if you have a key or not;" she started - explaining why she was walking up to the apartment with him, "but we are using the spare for the week and Justin just got in the shower so he may not hear you knock."  
  
Brian nodded and thanked her. He didn't make it to New York often so the necessity of having his own key had never really come up thus far. Daphne let him into the apartment and said goodbye as she headed out for the mall once again; this time with a different smile on her lips.  
  
Brian walked over to Justin's painting area and looked at the completed canvases leaning against the wall. He nodded his approval to himself but also made a mental note that although an improvement over the one Justin had painted when he first got here; they were still not quite up to par with what he had been painting back home. Maybe he would have been better off if he had stayed in the Pitts after all, he thought to himself. He stopped that train of thought immediately. This trip was to admit to Justin how much he missed him and to make sure that he did not doubt himself because of Brian's confession on the phone. He heard the water turn off in the bathroom and walked quietly back into the kitchen to grab a cold drink.  
  
As Justin opened the bathroom door he heard noises in the kitchen. Making sure his towel was secure around his waist, he threw the other one over his head and started drying his hair as he went to see why Daphne hadn't left yet.  
  
"Daphne, why are you still here? Is something wrong?" he asked without even looking up from the floor as he continued to towel dry his hair. All of a sudden his eyes scanned across the floor and stopped at the pair of Prada's pointing directly at him. He looked up and his blue eyes locked with hazel ones as one word escaped his mouth... 

"Brian..."

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: As always - thanks to my beta scoobysnacks!  I love you girlie!  


* * *

"There is definitely something wrong if you think I look like Daphne!" Brian said sarcastically and then added, "After all, I just got my hair cut."  
    
Justin looked completely shell shocked.  He felt the towel fall from his hands as he continued to stare into Brian's eyes.  His initial response was to run right over to him and devour him, but this was not a planned visit and Justin wasn't sure why Brian was here.  
   
"What are you doing here?" Justin stammered.  "I mean, don't get me wrong – I'm thrilled you are here, but why are you here?"  
   
"Our last conversation was not quite what I had expected and I thought maybe it would be better if I just came up here so we could straighten things out."  
   
"That figures." Justin whispered to himself.

"What figures?" Brian asked.  He was starting to feel anger building but was squelching it just as fast.

 Justin decided not to hold back his thoughts any longer – it didn't do either of them any good. "It just figures," Justin began, "because I happened to like how our last conversation ended; so of course you are going to leave work and fly up here to fix that right away.  You don't dare let me think you really do miss me as much as I miss you.  You can't do that – no way – that would be like a puppy exposing its soft underbelly and then asking someone to step on him."  Justin decided that if this was the best "queening" he could do, he was way out of practice.  He walked up to Brian until their chests were touching and grabbed his hands. "When are you going to realize that when I see a puppy, all I want to do is pet it and love it and take care of it?  I would never step on you for showing me your vulnerable side." 

Brian raised an eyebrow at Justin and smirked before asking, "Does that mean you are going to buy me a leash and try to paper train me?"  
  


Justin knew then that things were going to be OK.  He leaned closer to Brian and kissed him softly; pulling away as he ended the kiss – causing Brian to lean forward.  This had become Justin's trademark that he used when he knew he was going to win an argument and wanted to leave Brian wanting more.    
  


"There will be no paper training because I would be the one to clean it up anyway.  As for the leash," Justin said with an evil grin, "that will depend on how well you behave."  They both laughed and Brian pulled Justin back to him and into a deeper kiss.  Grabbing a handful of Justin's hair, Brian smashed their lips together harder.  His other hand barely moved but as soon as it did, Justin felt the towel around his waist fall to the floor.  
  


Brian held him tight and stood up straight, raising Justin off the floor a few inches.  He pulled away from the kiss long enough to lift Justin onto the kitchen counter.  He ran his right hand up the side of Justin's face and then did the same on the left before pulling Justin's face to his once again.  Driving his tongue deep into Justin's mouth, Brian was so swept up in the moment he barely realized it was him moaning.   
  


Justin's hands were flying through the buttons on Brian's shirt.  When he finally had it open, he kept running his hands up and down Brian's chest.  He had missed the touch of Brian's skin so much.  He started thrusting his already stiff cock against whatever bare skin he could find on Brian's body.  
  


There were so many ways Justin could think to describe what he was feeling, but the strongest was one simple form – right.  Brian pulled away again to undo the buttons on the wrists of his shirt so he could finish taking it off.  As he tossed it to the floor he began kissing Justin's neck and whispered in his ear, "Where is the bedroom again?" 

Justin stifled a laugh.  "You must be losing your edge old man.  I can't count how many times you have fucked me right on the kitchen counter in the loft."  Justin said as he started nipping lightly at Brian's neck.  
   
Brian smirked back at Justin and replied, "I'd love to fuck you right here – if I wasn't so worried about getting scratched by this chipped imitation Formica counter top."  
   
Justin rolled his eyes playfully and slowly slipped off the counter top; smiling to himself as his pre-come leaked onto Brian's abdomen on the way down.  
   
"Well, we can't have that now can we?" Justin asked as he nuzzled into Brian's neck.  He reached down and grabbed his towel and Brian's shirt.  When he stood back up, he grabbed Brian by the hand and walked toward the bedroom.  After walking through the doorway, Brian turned and closed the door.  When he turned back around, he saw Justin on his knees in front of him.  If it had been possible for Brian's cock to get any harder, it would have right then.  He walked up close to Justin and brushed his hand against his face and smiled.  It was one of his true smiles; one very few people saw and one most others did not even think Brian was capable of producing.  Seeing that smile made Justin smile even bigger as he started to pull Brian's pants down.  When they were pooling at his feet, Brian toed off his shoes and stepped out of the pants; amused by the look on Justin's face.  It drove Justin wild when Brian went "commando".  He had admitted to Brian once that just thinking about it got him hard.  
   
Justin ran his hands up Brian's leg, his eyes taking in every inch of his older lover.  Justin was missing him so much.  He missed watching him sleep.  He missed cuddling with him (of course they never called it cuddling – lesbians and breeders cuddled – not fags).  He missed the taste and smell of Brian's skin most of all.  With that thought, Justin leaned over and started kissing one of Brian's ankles; working his way north.  At one point he snaked around and flicked his tongue along the back of Brian's knees.  He felt them give just a little and smiled to himself.   
   
"Just like riding a bike," he thought to himself.  He moved so that he was behind Brian now and slowly ran his tongue up the back of his legs until he ran into Brian's beautiful ass.  
   
Brian felt his knees buckle a little when Justin ran his tongue over the back of them.  "Fucking Twink!" he thought with a look on his face one could only describe as part amusement – part lust.  He ran his hand across his chest and was flicking his own nipple when he felt Justin's hot breath on his balls.  Justin was flicking his tongue along the back of Brian's balls slowly, as if he had planned every thing out and there was an order to it.  Brian's breath caught in his throat as he felt Justin moving toward his ass.  Justin ran his finger up and down between Brian's ass cheeks slowly and then pulled them apart carefully and let out a breath right across Brian's hole.  He smiled to himself when he saw the hole tighten automatically.  He leaned in less than an inch from his version of heaven and let out a soft sigh.  
   
"Brian, have I ever told you…" he paused as he leaned in to kiss and flick his tongue along the inside of Brian's left ass cheek. "…how much…" he paused again to repeat the same action on the inside of Brian's right ass cheek.   "…I love your ass?"  Justin finished the question with a slow ghosting lick starting from the base of Brian's balls all the way to his tight hole.  
   
Brian let loose of a deep moan followed closely by "FUCK Justin!"  Some where in the deep recesses of his psyche, Brian knew that no matter how many men he fucked in his life; no one would ever be able to make him feel quite as good as Justin did.  
   
Keeping his eyes closed and a firm grip on his nipple, Brian could picture what they looked like right now: Justin on his knees with his face buried in Brian's ass.  It was almost too much for Brian to think about.  He had several things he had wanted to discuss while here, but he'd be damned if he could remember what any of them were at the moment.  All he could think about right then was Justin's tongue and the things it was doing to him.  
   
Brian was about to suggest they move to the bed when Justin pulled away and motioned in that direction.  He was licking his lips like a starving child who had been given a nibble of something and couldn't wait for more.  
   
Brian got on the bed on his hands and knees and was resting his head on the pillows as he felt Justin's tongue attacking his hole again.  Brian felt his eyes roll back in his head as he started to give his body over to the sensations.  "Christ, if he keeps this up, I'll come before he even touches my cock!" Brian thought to himself.  As much as he wanted to see what that was like, he knew that it was comparable to handing over the control of their relationship to Justin and that was definitely NOT what this weekend was about.  
   
Reluctantly Brian pulled away from Justin's tongue bath; just barely, but enough to get Justin's attention.  Justin gave him a questioning look as Brian motioned for him to crawl onto the bed with him.  As Justin brought his face up to meet Brian's their cocks briefly rubbed against each other.  Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  There was no fucking way he was going to let himself come from those brief seconds when their cocks had rubbed together.  
   
Justin looked concerned.  Brian had never stopped him in the middle of a rim job before.  Now he had his eyes clamped shut and was clenching his fist and taking deep breaths.  It was almost as if he was in pain and not wanting to show it.    
   
"Brian?"  Justin asked so softly it was a whisper.  He ran his hand down Brian's arm as he whispered again.  "Are you ok?  You look like you're in pain.  Did I hurt you somehow?"  Justin kept staring at Brian's closed eyes trying to will them to open.  
   
Brian chuckled.  _"Yea – you're hurting me.  It's not normal to hold back an orgasm.  It takes a lot of concentration and will power.  Things that seem to be in short supply whenever you are around."_ Brian thought to himself.  
   
"No, Justin, you didn't hurt me." Brian scrambled to find an acceptable explanation.  "I just didn't think it was fair that you have all the fun." He finished with his typical smirk back in place.  In mere seconds Brian had grabbed Justin and flipped him onto his back and was straddling his waist.  Brian had Justin pinned to the bed with his hands, his legs and his mouth.  
   
Brian had never been big on leaving any marks on his tricks.  Bite marks and such could be there for days and Brian preferred that all traces of him be gone by the time the trick stepped out of his next shower.  But Justin had never been like any other trick and Brian couldn't resist the desire to sink his teeth into Justin's soft skin.  He left little bite marks all over Justin's neck and worked his way down to one of Justin's nipples.  
   
Brian flicked his tongue over Justin's right nipple teasingly until it was standing erect, then he grabbed it between his teeth and lightly bit down while moving his teeth back and forth.  At that point, any sounds coming from Justin were just that – sounds.  If he was attempting to actually say words, he was failing completely.  He pushed his head down hard against the pillows beneath him and arched his chest into Brian as far as it would go.  As much as he loved eating Brian's ass, there was definitely something to be said for being on this end of things as well.  
   
Justin was running his hands through Brian's hair when the delicious torture on his nipples stopped.  It was only seconds before it started up again and Justin never had time to really question it.  Another couple of seconds later and he didn't need to wonder any longer.  Justin bit down on his lower lip as he felt Brian's finger pressing against his tight hole.  Brian's finger was wet with what Justin knew was his own spit.  Justin could only wish he'd had his eyes open when Brian had left his nipple long enough to suck on his own finger so that he wouldn't hurt Justin when pressing it into Justin's hole.  
   
As the pressure against his hole increased, Justin bit harder on his lip.  He began to push against the pressure hoping to catch Brian off guard and pull his finger inside practically be sheer willpower.  As he pushed a little harder, the pressure stopped and he opened his eyes in shock.  He started to look down – expecting to see Brian's face hovering over his chest.  He was startled to see Brian's face right above his own – looking a bit concerned.  
   
Brian brought his hand up to Justin's face and ran his fingers along Justin's bruised lower lip.  Justin could smell himself on Brian's fingers and that made his desire even stronger.  He opened his mouth and tried to capture Brian's fingers – wondering if he'd be able to taste himself as well; but Brian pulled his fingers away.  Justin looked into Brian's eyes, showing more confusion.  
   
"What's wrong now?" he asked.  He hoped his voice wasn't coming across as pouting or demanding.  Luckily his confusion was what came across the strongest.  
   
"You're turning your lip into hamburger." was Brian's reply.  Justin let his tongue run over his bottom lip.  He could feel ridges where his teeth had started to really sink in hard.  He shrugged and started to pull Brian back into a kiss.  Before their lips met, Brian looked into Justin's eyes and said, "Be more careful – I don't want people thinking I flew up here and kicked your ass or something…"  They both laughed slightly as they brought their lips together again.  
   
As the intensity of their kiss grew, Brian brought his hand up to their faces.  He pulled away from the kiss long enough to bring his hand to Justin's mouth.  His fingers ghosted over Justin's full red lips.  Justin opened his mouth a little and Brian let his middle finger slide inside.  Justin sucked on the finger as if it were a cock.  Justin's own smell – even stronger than it had been a few seconds before – made his mind reel.  He didn't want to think about anything else at that moment – all that existed was Brian's finger and his mouth.  
   
A moment later Brian pulled his finger away from Justin.  He covered Justin's mouth with his own while running his slick finger between Justin's ass cheeks.  Justin ran his fingers through Brian's hair and held their faces together as he felt the pressure once again against his hole.  Justin had pulled Brian's tongue into his mouth and was sucking on it as Brian finally breached his entrance slowly.  Justin let go of Brian's tongue as he grunted and pushed against Brian's finger.  Brian moved his finger back and forth slowly until he found Justin's prostate.  
   
"I'll show him who is in control of this… fuck… this relationship." Brian said to himself.  With that, he added another finger and went back to work on Justin's prostate.  Justin was squirming beneath Brian; pulling him into a furious kiss one second and running his nails down Brian's chest the next.  He could no longer think about anything but the sensations Brian was causing – he could barely remember his own name.    
   
Finally Justin was able to form a word… the look on Brian's face was utter satisfaction as Justin screamed his name when he came.  
   
Brian was sitting there drawing designs across Justin's chest with the come Justin had just shot all over the place.  He was rather pleased with himself.  Not only had he avoided losing control of the situation when Justin nearly made him come from a rim job, but he had completely turned the tides and made Justin come without even directly touching Justin's cock.  He took a deep breath and reveled in his own amusement.  "Yes," he thought to himself, "it's good to be king."  
   
Justin was shell shocked.  He had never come that way before.  He didn't think Brian had laid even a finger on his cock.  He didn't know whether to be impressed or to feel cheated.  He wanted Brian's cock in his ass so bad he could barely think straight.  His mind was so foggy; he wasn't even sure what to say.  In the end he didn't have to say anything.  His stomach growled and that caused them to both laugh.  
   
Brian looked down at Justin and smiled as their eyes locked.  "It's nice to know some things don't change."  He said as he leaned in to kiss Justin again.  
   
A few minutes later they were in the kitchen scrounging for dinner.  They settled for sandwiches and beer since neither was in the mood to really cook anything.  They each sat on either end of the couch and ate quietly.  It was a comfortable silence which, of course, made Brian a bit uncomfortable.  Mainly because they still hadn't talked about anything yet.  Not that there was a huge amount of anything to really discuss.  The part that unnerved Brian was that it seemed less and less important as the day played out.  
   
Brian found his mind starting to wander.  There had always been something about Justin – even from the beginning.  Brian had treated him just like all the others; but Justin kept coming back.  Eventually Brian relented and started to get to know "the kid"; even started to like him.  Then, the night of the prom – during their dance, "the kid" became "Justin".  Just as quickly, Justin was almost taken away.  
   
Brian used to think that night was when Justin broke down his walls, and there was some truth to that.  The ultimate truth, however, was that Justin had been picking apart his walls ever since he allowed him to come back to his loft that second time.  To this day, Brian couldn't explain why he had done that.  He *never* fucked the same trick twice.  No matter what he told himself – Brian always seemed drawn to him in a way he could not explain.  
   
The perfect example of this is when Justin took off with his credit card and ran to New York.  Instead of grabbing him by the hair and dragging him back to Pittsburgh the minute he found him; Brian allowed the kid to practically seduce him.  Granted, it was some of the hottest sex they'd had to date; but Brian still couldn't believe it happened the way it had.  
   
Justin had caused him to do all kinds of things he swore he'd never do – luckily Justin wasn't aware of all of them.  He cringed to think what Justin (or the rest of the group for that matter) would say if they knew he had actually paid for sex shortly after Justin had left him for the asshole fiddler.  Michael's reaction alone would have made life unbearable.  Just as he imagined that, he closed his eyes and contorted his face in pain.  
   
"You know – you really shouldn't be thinking about Michael right now." Justin said as he scooted up next to Brian.  
   
"How on earth does he do that?" Brian thought to himself.  
   
"Well my mind tends to wander when there is nothing holding my attention."  Brian retorted.  
   
Justin leaned over and cupped Brian's cock through his jeans; feeling it spring to life.  "Oh, I'm pretty sure I can hold your attention."  Justin said with a smirk.  
   
Brian chuckled and then replied with a smirk of his own.  "I realize it's been a while since you've attended an Anatomy class, but that's not my attention you're holding right now."  
   
"Oh, but I disagree.  Everyone knows you think with your dick…"  Justin's voice trailed away as he rubbed his hand harder against Brian.  
   
"You little smartass!" Brian said and then jumped at Justin and started tickling him.  Justin tried desperately to get away and when he finally managed it, he ran straight for the bedroom.  
   
Brian followed Justin and in no time had him pinned to the back of the bedroom door.  Their hands all over each other and their lips pressed together in a passionate frenzy.  Just a minute later they were pulling at each other's clothes.  Brian had pulled Justin's shirt over his head then twisted it to keep Justin's hands tied up for a bit.  He held the shirt above Justin's head while he continued to devour his lover's lips and throat.  When he realized he was missing the feeling of Justin's hands on his body, he finally untangled him and pulled Justin's shirt off the rest of the way.    
   
A few minutes later he bent Justin over the fold out chair Justin had gotten out earlier that day.  Brian smiled as he heard Justin's moaning while he slowly licked from the back of Justin's balls up to his tight hole just like Justin had done to him earlier.  Brian wrapped his finger around Justin's cock and started pumping him while he concentrated the rest of his efforts on eating Justin's ass.  Between Justin's moans and the fact that the bedroom door was closed, neither of them heard anything when Daphne and Keith walked through the front door.  
   
The more she thought about it, Daphne decided not to tell Keith about Brian's unexpected arrival.  Justin had said that they had been arguing lately and Brian himself had said this was not a planned visit.  Because of those details, Daphne was not sure what to expect when they got back to the apartment.  They walked into the kitchen and grabbed something to drink before heading back into the living room to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.  
   
The sounds of the movie blocked the moaning and groaning that had started in Justin's bedroom when Brian had finally thrust into Justin's ass.  Justin was still bent over the chair and Brian was pumping into his ass so hard, his balls were smacking against Justin's with each thrust.  
   
"Where's Justin?  Did he tell you he was going out before you left?  He usually tells us if he won't be here so you don't turn all motherly on him."  Keith explained as he laughed at her reaction to the last comment.  
   
"I don't know," she replied after deciding to ignore the comment – especially since it was true.  "I'm sure he'll call if he is going to be too much longer." She said.  She was starting to worry a bit.  
   
Keith jumped up to go to the bathroom.  He gave Daphne a quick kiss and said, "Be back in a flush."  Before winking and walking down the hall.  Daphne just rolled her eyes at him and went back to watching the movie.  
   
Justin was almost there.  He had a death grip on the chair beneath him and one of his feet up on the seat so Brian could plunge his cock as deep as possible into Justin's tight ass.  His eyes rolled back in his head and he lost all conscious thoughts except one…  
   
"Fuck me Brian!  Come on!  Yea – that's it… fuck me harder!"  Justin yelled through clenched teeth.  
   
As Keith walked back from the bathroom he heard a mumbled voice in Justin's room.  "Hey Daphne, I think Justin is home after all – I hear someone in his room…" he said as he grabbed the door handle and opened it just slightly.  The view Keith saw would be forever etched into his brain: just as Justin came he arched his back towards Brian and turned toward him.  Brian had leaned down and met Justin's lips with his own for a brief second before pulling away and thrusting full force a couple more times before he finally came.  
   
Keith quickly and quietly shut the door and walked in silence over to the living room.  He sat down next to Daphne who had – by now – guessed what was going on in Justin's room.  She laughed at the look of awe on Keith's face.  Keith was at a loss for words.  He just sat there staring into space.  He had just seen about three seconds of the hottest sex between two men ever.  He finally chuckled nervously and looked at Daphne.  All he could say was "Oh my God…"  
   
Daphne laughed at his reaction, patted him on the back and then replied…  
   
"No dear… not God… _**that**_ is Brian Kinney…"


End file.
